"I'm so angry, anger makes me a modern girl. I took my money, I couldn't buy nothin', I'm sick of this brave new world." ~sleater-kinney

In this job I have to find things that make me laugh or else I'll go crazy. Actually, I often laugh at things I shouldn't. Sometimes if I weren't laughing I would have to cry instead, and that's not nearly as fun. So here's what made me laugh today. I have this student, D. You can't even imagine what I have to put up with because of him. He says the rudest, most vile things to me, things so inappropriate that I refuse to repeat. He fights with other kids. If he weren't so awful I would feel sorry for him due to certain reasons I won't go into, but he makes it impossible to feel any sympathy towards him. Today he was sitting on the bookshelf next to the window, with the bottom half of the window open. I have to tell him at least once a day that he's not allowed to sit on the bookshelf, and I also have to tell him at least once a day not to open the bottom window (we only open the top window because when the bottom window is open people throw things out of it). He was also playing with this mini-skateboard toy that all the boys have now (and are so incredibly annoying). And he was not doing his work. So there's four things he was doing wrong all at once, and all this was after I told him multiple times what he should have been doing.
As he was playing with his skateboard, he pushed it too hard by mistake and it flew out the window. I just tilted my head back and laughed, and I didn't try to stop myself. He was not happy. I told him it was karma. He planned on going outside and getting the skateboard after school, but I went out during lunch and took it. When he looked for it out the window after lunch and didn't see it, I pretended I had no idea what happened to it. He's never getting it back. The incident probably shouldn't have made me laugh as hard as it did, but his skateboard flying out the window was a perfect punishment for everything he was doing wrong, and I didn't even have to do anything.

"I don't want to feel so different, but I don't want to be insignificant, and I don't know how to see the same things different now. Oh, could you see me? I'm one is a million. I am Icarus falling out of the sun. Could you see me fall in the light of spotlights and jackknife through night as black as a bedroom and white as a lie?" ~counting crows

Here's something funny I wanted to mention about the two albums I posted yesterday: I think it's interesting that they're both in digipak cases instead of the traditional plastic jewel cases. Someone on the official CCMB complained about the digipak case, and Adam responded to the complaint in his funniest voicemail ever. He said that they're more environmentally friendly, they look more like record cases, and the band actually had to pay extra (30 cents per album) to make those cases. I think it's great that he actually reads and responds to what we write. He calls us very unpleasant people very often, but I suspect he secretly likes the fact that we're just as unpleasant as he is because it gives him something to complain about. Here's an excerpt from his voicemail:

"So fuck off!!! It didn't save us money, you schmucks, it cost us money! God! You're the most hysterical group of fans ever. I fucking love you. No other band has fans as loyal or as looney as ours. I swear to God, it's unbelievable. I gotta go, I gotta go to bed. I'm just punchy. That was the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. Do you know how angry I was that they made me pay those, they made me pay the 30 cents? I was so angry and I sucked it up...and you want a jewel case? Who the hell wants a jewel case?!?"

He was definitely punchy that night. And he had to wake up in less than 4 hours to do Good Morning America.

Last week Nic and I went to a screening of Young @ Heart. A long time ago, after I had seen a trailer for it, I mentioned it to Nic but couldn't remember the title, so I said, "You know, the movie with the old people..." and she immediately knew what I was talking about. I thought that was funny. Anyway, the movie was wonderful. It was funny and sad and touching. It has a 100% on rottentomatoes right now, which doesn't surprise me at all. If you haven't heard about it, it's a documentary about a chorus of elderly people who sing rock 'n' roll songs. I highly recommend seeing it when it comes out.

I've spent this weekend grading journals and papers. It takes so much time. If I spend 15 minutes per student, it takes about 6 hours total. That's a long time. And it gets so tedious that I'll grade 3 or 4 and then have to stop and take a break. Ugh.

"I'm okay. It's alright. Hey, look who's on TV tonight." ~counting crows

I felt like I had a lot to write about, but I can't think of anything really important right now. Fridays just drain me. Nicole asked me to go see The Princess Bride at the Loews Jersey with her tonight, but I'm way too exhausted. I think I'll put on a movie and relax. I also decided to take some random pictures.
Here is my bag that I brought home from school today, filled with some of my kids' journals. This is my weekend project: grading. The marking period ends on Monday, and I have an unbearably large amount of work to go through.

This is the stack of magazines that my grandmother just sent me (she sends them to me all the time) that I will probably never read. The box was so heavy I could hardly pick it up.

These are the two most recent albums I've bought and that I highly recommend you buy as well.

The first is Counting Crows' Saturday Nights & Sunday Mornings. It is one of the best new albums I've heard in a long time. In case you haven't picked up on it yet (from my tattoo, all the recent concerts and front row spots, Letterman, etc.), I am obsessed with Counting Crows. They are my favorite band in the world.
The second album is the debut from She & Him (Zooey Deschanel & M Ward). I was a huge fan of each of them before they teamed up, and this pairing is just beautiful. Deschanel's voice is gorgeous. She is the most talented actor-turned-singer I can think of right now.

I got a ticket to the opening of Boeing-Boeing on Broadway, and I cannot wait. The prospect of Bradley Whitford (!!!), Kathryn Hahn, Christine Baranski, Mary McCormack, and Mark Rylance all on the same stage is so incredibly exciting that I'm already counting down the days (and it's not until May 4th). The week before, I get to see Laura Linney onstage.

In case you missed me on Letterman on Monday, see if you can spot me in this screenshot.

"So if you think you need to go, if you wanted to be free, there's just one thing you need to know, and that's that you can't count on me. No, you can't count on me." ~counting crows

Letterman Taping Report:
Today I went to the best talk show live taping I've ever been to. I've been trying to get tickets to Letterman for ages and it's impossible; this has been the one show I've been dying to add to my list of tapings. Counting Crows played this particular show, and the band always gets a few tickets for their guests. The CCMB hosted a contest to give away two pairs of tickets. I lost, but one of the winners made his own contest to give away his one extra ticket. It was a limerick contest and I won! This guy was incredibly nice to give away his ticket like that. So I met him, the girl who won the other pair of tickets, and her guest at the Ed Sullivan Theatre this afternoon. I already knew the two people who won, because it is a small community of hardcore CC fans. It was cool to hang out with them. We were VIPs (we even had cool tickets saying "Guest of Talent" so we felt very special). We were in the front of the VIP line and were given the best seats in the theatre. The show was so much fun. Dave's monologue was hilarious. Demi Moore was the first guest, and she was good. She rambled on about leeches for awhile. Counting Crows were awesome. Of course they did "You Can't Count On Me." It was a great performance; they were definitely "on" and Adam was jumping around a lot. Immy saw us in the audience and gave us a grin and a nod as he was playing, which was exciting. We were getting really into it, but it was hard to restrain ourselves from standing up and singing along! We had to be satisfied with moving around in our seats and mouthing the words. Of course we knew all the words even though the album hasn't come out yet; I think that's how Immy spotted us, because I'm sure no one else in the audience was participating like we were. Adam dressed up slightly and traded his usual t-shirt in for a zip-up sweater. The bad part of the day was that I got a picture with Adam but my battery died as the picture was being taken so it didn't come out. I'm really bummed. But overall it was a very cool experience.
So here's my updated list of tapings I've been to:

The Late Show with David Letterman
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
Late Night with Conan O'Brien
The Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (twice)
The Colbert Report with Stephen Colbert
Saturday Night Live

"I may take a holiday in Spain, leave my wings behind me. Flush my worries down the drain, and fly away to somewhere new." ~counting crows

So I realize I've said this after the last two Counting Crows concerts I've been to, but last night's concert was really the best concert I've ever been to. Words cannot describe how fantastic it was. First of all, I got a prime spot standing in the center of the front row (I didn't think I could get a better spot than last time, but I did). Adam was spitting on me and I loved it. I love being able to make eye contact with the band as they're playing; it makes me feel connected to them and like I'm a part of the magical experience that's going on. I was fortunate enough to get my fab spot because I met up with people who got there to line up at 1:00pm (the concert started at 9:30pm). So the first fabulous thing was my spot.

The second fabulous thing was the setlist. It was so freakin' amazing. They opened with Goodnight L.A., which was a great surprise. They played what some of us have determined is the longest version of Goodnight Elisabeth ever played. Seriously. It must have been 15 minutes long. How many bands play 15-minute songs?! (ETA: I have the recording now and it was actually 17 minutes long, not even including the intro). AD just kept going into different alternates and I kept expecting him to segue back into Goodnight Elisabeth but then he'd pull in another song. During Goodnight Elisabeth they played alternate lyrics from I Guess it's Christmas Coming Down, Pale Blue Eyes(!!!), and It's Alright. I couldn't get enough of it; I didn't want the song to end (I LOVE GNE). They played a great version of Round Here with Have You Seen Me Lately alternates AND Radiation Vibe alternates. They played Anna Begins. They played acoustic Miami. They played A Long December (with my fave "I am feathered" A Murder of One alternates, including the great line "I have wings" thrown in there). They played all my favorite songs from the new album (1492, Los Angeles, When I Dream of Michelangelo, Washington Square). And they closed with my favorite song, Holiday in Spain. It was nearly perfect. I could not believe it. Oh, and I got one of Dan's guitar pics, which was exciting!
They played for over 2.5 hours; it didn't end until after midnight. Adam was drinking and was definitely drunk by the end of the concert, but he was still at the top of his game. The band has had such a high level of intensity and energy at the New York shows they've played in the past few months, and I am so fortunate to have seen that (and in such small, intimate venues). I know I am so incredibly lucky.

I got three hours of sleep last night, so I'm pretty exhausted. Tonight Nic and I went to an Irish bar to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, but we went early and didn't stay for more than a couple of hours because I really need to get to bed. So now I need to get a few things ready for tomorrow, take a shower, and then collapse. This is going to be a difficult week, but luckily I have Friday off.

My pictures from the concert (videos to come later this week).

"Oh, where do we disappear into the silence that surrounds us and then drowns us in the end. Where they try to push you out to keep you in. I say come again, come again, come again, come again. In 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue. In 1493 came home across the deep blue sea. In 1494 he did it with the girl next door. In 1495 he barely made it out alive. In 1964 these sailors left me at the door. In 1970 some people got their hands on me. Now I'm the king of everything, and I'm the king of nothing now. I am the king of everything, I am the king of nothing. Oh, where do we disappear into the silence that surrounds us and then drowns us in the end. Where all these people who impersonate our friends say come again, come again, come come again. Oh, where do we disappear into the silence that surrounds us and then drowns us in the end. Where they try to get you out to get you in. And all these people who impersonate our friends say come again, come again, come again, come again, come again." ~counting crows

That's from 1492, the opening track of Counting Crows' new album Saturday Nights & Sunday Mornings. I absolutely love that song. The first time I heard it, a really, really long time ago (years ago), I didn't get it. Now it blows me away. Especially when AD sings the line "some people got their hands on me." I love hearing the tension in his voice escalate. I'm going to a Counting Crows concert tonight and I really hope they play 1492 (I bet they will).

This isn't such a good weekend. This morning I found out that yesterday my grandpa fell and broke his hip in three places. They need to operate but they can't right now because of some other health reasons. He's in a lot of pain and it's not good. In the past two weeks, three of my four grandparents have entered the hospital. It really, really sucks. I know I'm lucky that all four of my grandparents are still alive, but I really want them to be okay. And I'm worried.

A much less serious problem is that our mouse has returned. Or maybe it's a new one. Either way, it's not a good thing. Sandra has determined that it's a "she" because it's very sneaky. We set up a trap, and less than twenty minutes later the cheese was not in the trap (but neither was the mouse). Yesterday I saw the mouse in the bathroom. It came into my room twice this morning, ran around, and then ran out. I'm sick of it. I hate mice. I'm afraid we trapped it inside the apartment, though, because we put steel wool around the places we think it might have used to get in. This instance is one of the reasons I don't really want to see Ratatouille. I can't imagine how anyone who's had a rodent in their apartment (which is most New Yorkers) could possibly think rodents are cute. I certainly don't.

Hopefully the Counting Crows concert tonight will cheer me up.

"Karen, take me to the nearest famous city middle where they hang the lights. Where it's random, and it's common versus common." ~the national

Tatum and I are the queens of funny/awkward messages. She's my dear friend from MTV (we were interns together), and I haven't heard from her in a couple of months. Then today I got a voicemail from her asking if she can give my name and contact info to her private investigator. Oh, Tatum, how I miss you. Who else would call me with a request like that?

My principal is taking over my class tomorrow because they've been behaving so badly. I wonder if it will have any long-term effect on them, though. They only have gym once a week and yesterday I took away their gym period and taught them ELA instead. Oh, how they hated me. And yet they weren't much better today. I don't know how to get through to them.

I love my CCNY class so much. Before the semester started I was worried that I wouldn't be able to handle it. It meets on Thursday nights for almost 3 hours, and on Thursday I teach at the after-school program so I don't get home until after 6 and hardly have any time to eat dinner before I go to class. I get home at 10 and have to prepare for teaching on Friday, which is my worst day schedule-wise (and when I get home I always want to watch the Lost episode that I taped!). But my CCNY class is my lifeboat. It helps me unwind. I love it. We do lots of acting games and have interesting discussions and I am in awe of my brilliant classmates. I'm the youngest person and am the only inexperienced actor, so I often feel like an idiot when I'm surrounded by these amazing actors and I have no idea what I'm doing. But everyone is so nice that participating isn't so bad. And my professor is absolutely amazing. She knows everyone in the theater world, she's young but she has lots of experience, and she's just so incredibly nice and cool. Tonight's class was fabulous as always; we had a great workshop. So I'm happy.

"Somewhere in the Empire City, someone takes a curtain call. I'm so broke at the end of the evening that you'll find me hopeless in the back of the hall." ~bishop allen

Oh, what a great governor we have. The "steamroller" who was supposed to clean up New York gets busted for his involvement in a prostitution ring. The irony is just ridiculous. I never liked the hypocrite. But I feel awful for his family. I can't believe he hasn't resigned yet, but it seems like he will very soon (or else he'll face impeachment). The sooner he's out of office, the better.

I have tickets to The Daily Show tomorrow. I was considering not going, but I feel like I need a break from work so I probably will. I went a couple of months ago and it was fun. The worst part is waiting to get in, but I'll bring work to do in line (although I probably won't get any of it done because I'll be talking to my mom, aunt, and uncle who are coming). I wish I could have gone Monday or today instead to watch Jon Stewart roast Spitzer (he might tomorrow as well, though). At any rate, it will be nice to see some of my family.

My mom's at August: Osage County right now; she just called me during the first intermission (there are two). The tickets were her birthday gift from me. She's enjoying the show, so I'm happy about that. I absolutely loved it and I figured she would as well (I can't imagine who wouldn't, although my dad opted out and told her to take a friend because he was sure he wouldn't like it).

My kids took the state math test yesterday and today, so they're even more crazy than usual (testing is pretty stressful for them). Hopefully they'll settle down soon. Although I've heard the rest of the year will be very tough, because now that their two major tests (ELA and math) are over, they feel like they don't have to learn anymore.

I'm going to a Counting Crows concert on Sunday; I'm excited. This will be CC concert #5 for me.

"I was spending my days with my demons, yeah, they had taken up inside of my heart. They were trying to keep me entertained, they were tearing me apart.
Well, my memory, she was packing, yeah, and I knew that she would never come back. She handed me a letter and then she vanished in the black. And the letter said:
'Things are what you make of them, things are what you make of them, baby. And you know what I mean, yeah, you know what I mean.'
Well, I met up with my common sense, and I knew her by the rose in her hair. She said: 'Son, if you don't make a noise, God will never know you're there.'
So I purchased me a ticket, yeah, for a meeting with Jesus Christ. He shook my hand and offered me just this thimble of advice. He was telling me: 'Things are what you make of them . . .'" ~bishop allen

I'm in love with Bishop Allen right now, and I couldn't choose just one part of that song.
Dead Man's Cell Phone was interesting. Mary-Louise Parker was wonderfully quirky; I loved seeing her live and in such a small, intimate theater. The play itself wasn't exactly my cup of tea; it wasn't bad at all, it was just a little too bizarre for me. But I was glad I got to see it. And ushering was definitely the way to go, because I got to see it for free (and I got a very good seat; actually, all of the seats in that theater are good because it's so small).

In the Heights opened today to mostly positive reviews. Here's the review that matters the most, the New York Times. Isherwood has some complaints with the show but basically writes a love letter to Lin-Manuel Miranda, who is absolutely deserving of all the praise he's receiving. Go see this show if you can. Trust me, you'll love it.

'In the Heights' Video

"I used to think we lived at the top of the world. When the world was just a subway map, and the 1-slash-9 climbed a dotted line to my place." ~in the heights

Last night I saw the Broadway production of In the Heights. It was fabulous; I absolutely loved it. It's about Washington Heights, which is the neighborhood in which I teach. I would have loved the show even if I weren't familiar with the neighborhood, but having Washington Heights as such as an important part of my life right now made the musical especially meaningful to me. Today someone asked me if it was realistic. Well, I don't usually see people singing and dancing as I walk down the street. I suppose I'd say it's a slightly romanticized look at the neighborhood. The guy who conceived, composed, and stars in it is from the area, and while you're watching it you can definitely sense that the musical is rooted in a familiarity with and a love for Washington Heights. It's fun and entertaining with great music and dancing, but it has depth because it addresses immigration and the concept of home and other issues that are really prevalent to WH's inhabitants. So I loved it. I just wish it were more accessible to people who actually live in Washington Heights. I don't think many of them make it down to Broadway very often.
Here's me and Karen Olivo, one of the stars, a few years ago (after a performance of Brooklyn):


Tonight I'm meeting my parents for dinner and then I'm ushering at Dead Man's Cell Phone, starring the always amazing Mary-Louise Parker (I love her). I'm excited!

"I must be me, I'm in my head, black birds are circling my bed. I must be me, I must be me, black feathers are falling on my feet." ~the national

My tattoo is inspired by Counting Crows, particularly by the phrase "I am feathered," which is from the song "A Murder of One" and which they insert into lots of other songs and is absolutely gorgeous. I love listening to live versions of different songs in which they insert that lyric. They did it during "A Long December" at the Bowery Ballroom concert I went to last month; it was the perfect ending to an awesome performance of that song. The opening quote of this post is from The National's song "Karen," and it also fits my tattoo perfectly. I love that song as well.

I've been feeling uninspired lately. It's hard for me to sit down and write creative lesson plans that will engage the kids. I get distracted easily. And it shouldn't be so hard for me right now, because I'm doing a unit on Katherine Paterson and I love Katherine Paterson. Maybe it's the winter. It makes everything seem so "blah."

My kids are doing okay for the most part (of course, now that I've said that they'll come in tomorrow and act completely insane). There's this one boy, D, who's a real handful. He actually has gotten really into our current read-aloud book, though, which is a Katherine Paterson book called Park's Quest. I was sitting with the kids during science today and I had the book with me. We had just read about a mysterious new character, and D kept trying to convince me to tell him who she is. When I wouldn't tell him, he grabbed the book from me and skimmed through it for an entire period (while he was supposed to be doing science), trying to figure out who the girl is. He refused to give the book back to me, and he was so invested in his search. I was particularly frustrated when he flipped to the last page and started to read it, because I didn't want him to spoil it for himself. I was frustrated with him for not giving me the book back, for not doing his science work, and for yelling out things that happen in the parts we haven't read yet. At the same time, though, I was glad that he was actually interested in a book. That's unusual for him. It's those little things that keep me going.

"I will walk along these hillsides in the summer 'neath the sunshine, I am feathered by the moonlight fallin' down on me. I said I will walk along these hillsides in the summer 'neath the sunshine, I am feathered by the moonlight fallin' down on me. I said I will walk along these hillsides in the summer 'neath the sunshine, I am feathered by the moonlight fallin' down on me. I said I will walk along these hillsides in the summer 'neath the sunshine, I am feathered by the moonlight, change, change, change..." ~counting crows

This was a busy week. Thursday was particularly tiring. First there was school, then four hours of parent-teacher conferences, then class. I missed about half of my class because of conferences, and I missed the important stuff, so I wasn't thrilled about that. It was unavoidable, though, and my professor understood.
I don't like talking to parents. I'm not good at it. I'm usually too nice because I have a hard time telling someone that their kid is bad, especially when the kid is right there. I had one kid cry, but it wasn't my fault; I actually gave her a very generous report considering her behavior, but the dean came in and basically ripped her apart.
I was out of my apartment from 7am until 10pm on Thursday, so it was a long day. I have the weekend to rest, though. I don't have any plans; I've just been doing random stuff that needs to get done like grocery shopping, laundry, lesson planning, reading for my class, etc. Oh, I got a tattoo. That was exciting (though painful). It's an homage to my favorite band, Counting Crows. I'll post a picture later. Now I'm off to have some of the fabulous-smelling dinner that's cooking right now.