"Pressure, pushing down on me, pressing down on you...It's the terror of knowing what this world is about, watching some good friends screaming 'Let me out!' Tomorrow takes me higher, pressure on people, people on streets..." ~queen feat. david bowie

I haven't been in a writing mood lately. I'm not good at transition periods. I loved being in college. I know I'm going to love being a teacher and living in the city. But I hate this period in which I don't know where exactly I'll be teaching and living. I hate going to placement fairs and plastering a big, fake smile on my face as I frantically try to convince principals that I really am a good teacher. I hate coming home and listening to my mom tell me what else I need to be doing; even though I know she's just trying to help, it bugs me to no end. I just want someone to give me a job. And an apartment. I'm sick of looking at apartments that are better suited as closets. I know it will all work out, but I'm ready for that to happen.

Last weekend was a nice break. Actually, it was a fabulous break. Eleven of us stayed in a cabin in the Catskills. We hiked up Hunter Mountain one day, which was a blast. The total hike was a little over 8 miles, which isn't a big deal, so we left in the morning and assumed it would take us about half a day. We ended up getting down as it was getting dark; it took us more than twice as long as we thought it would. The "trail" we took going up cannot be called a trail in the traditional sense of the word. It was impossible to navigate; we lost the "path" multiple times. Tons of trees had fallen and they obstructed the way; we had no choice but to go over and through them. I (stupidly) wore shorts, and my legs ended up covered in cuts and scratches. The funny thing is, I loved it. I couldn't help but laugh. And when we got to the top we felt like we had really accomplished something.

I feel like I have multiple personalities, and last weekend I was theatrical, fun, outgoing Claire. I sang during the hike when anyone asked me to, even though usually no one else joined in (I think because they were too out of breath). We played Charades one night, and someone called it the Claire and Dina show because we were the ones who kept guessing everything (the person who guessed the correct answer got to act out the next clue, so the two of us kept going back and forth). I love Charades. And I'm good at it. Katie picked up on the fact that I get into it and am willing to act out pretty much anything, so she kept giving me really funny clues, like "Superman" (I ran around the room pretending to fly like Superman) and "Ninja" (never mind that "Ninja" is just a word and not a movie, book, TV show, play or anything). I loved just letting loose, and I didn't care about looking like an idiot. It was a good feeling. I only knew a few people on the trip before we left, but everyone was very friendly and we got along well. We built a fire outside and roasted S'mores one night, and we went on a short hike to a great waterfall on the morning of the day that we left. It was hard to come back to reality. Maybe I'll post pictures later.

Ooh, the Tonys! I forgot to talk about them! They cheered me up a whole lot. Spring Awakening won 8 Tonys (best musical, best book of a musical, best original score, best featured actor, best director, best orchestrations, best choreography, and best lighting). Billy Crudup, one of my favorite actors, won best supporting actor in a play. Christine Ebersole and Mary Louise Wilson (from Grey Gardens) won best actress and best featured actress (respectively) in a musical. Julie White's win was the one I was most excited about, though, because it was unexpected yet totally deserved. She won best actress in a play for her performance in The Little Dog Laughed, in which she was absolutely amazing (that play was so underappreciated; I wish more people got to see it, because it was hilarious and relevant and smart and just wonderful). She was up against Vanessa Redgrave, Angela Lansbury, Eve Best, and Swoosie Kurtz, which is an insanely impressive list of actresses. White's acceptance speech was the best one of the night.