"Sometimes it all looks so familiar, and sometimes it's just so fuckin' strange. Can't you hear me? 'Cause I'm screaming, and I did not go outside yesterday. Don't wake me, please don't wake me 'cause I was dreaming, and I might just stay inside again today. Yeah, I don't go out much these days. Sometimes I stay inside all day." ~counting crows

They sang those alternate lyrics to Perfect Blue Buildings at the concert I went to a couple of weeks ago. It was the best version of that song I've ever heard; it was freakin' awesome. I had tears in my eyes at the concert and I tear up when I listen to the recording (which is all the time). AD just gets so emotional at the end that it's impossible not to feel anything.

I had another fight in my classroom today. And this time it was worse, complete with blood and tears. A really big 14-year-old in my class fought a really tiny 10-year-old. The little one was C; I've written about him before. He's the class clown and a troublemaker and he makes me want to pull my hair out most days, but I love him. He can be really sweet and adorable. The big kid threw him around and hit him and C was fighting back but couldn't do any damage because he's so much smaller. I couldn't stop them so I stood in the doorway and yelled for the dean. When the fight was broken up, I looked at C and my heart broke. He stood there looking back at me with his huge puppy eyes filled with tears as he tried (and failed) to stop himself from crying. It's my job to keep my kids safe and I failed him. I know it took the two of them to fight, and I know C wasn't blameless, but I still feel awful about it. It started so quickly, though, and I don't think there was anything I could have done to prevent it. It was at the end of the day when they were getting ready to go home and I was dealing with some of the other crazies who were misbehaving. And of course it had to happen on the day that I got four new students in my class. Their parents are going to ask them how they like their new class, and I know the first thing they're going to say is something like, "There was a fight and a kid got beat up and he was bleeding and crying...." I really don't need parents thinking I'm incompetent.

Tomorrow the kids have off and the teachers have professional development. Another teacher and I were trying to decide which we'd prefer, having to teach and deal with the kids or sit in PD all day. I'm still not sure; it's a toss-up.

ETA:
I'm watching Chuck and I love it when stuff like this happens! They just played a really long clip of Oasis's "Don't Look Back in Anger." I've had that song stuck in my head for a week, although I have no idea why (I haven't heard it in forever up until just now when it played on Chuck). I love that song. And it's like I had it in my head in anticipation of hearing it on Chuck. Josh Schwartz is freakin' awesome at making shows with great music (The O.C., Gossip Girl, and Chuck, his three shows, all stand out because of it).