"Strung out like some Christmas lights out there in the Chelsea night. Strung out like some Christmas lights out there in the Chelsea night. Strung out like some Christmas lights out there in the Chelsea night. Strung out like some Christmas lights out there in the Chelsea night." ~ryan adams

I don't have much to say. I'm glad today was the last day of school for awhile because it's been crazy lately. I'm heading home to NJ tomorrow (Christmas Eve). I'm not looking forward to Christmas as much as I usually do. I've been in a funk lately. My mom and I haven't really been talking. I don't want to have to deal with her. Maybe we'll be fine, I don't know. I'm afraid it's going to be weird. It'll be a really hard Christmas without Josie. I'm afraid I'll start crying when I don't see her stocking hanging over the mantle, where it's been the past 15 Christmases. It will be our last Christmas in this house where I grew up (my parents are moving to Colorado), and that also makes me sad. One nice thing is that I'll get to see my brother. He spent the semester abroad in Scotland so I haven't seen him in a long time. Still, right now I don't know how I'll get through more than a week at home.

Some pictures I've taken recently:

A (freezing) wintery New York evening near my apartment (I love the lights that decorate Columbus Ave):

The tree at Rockefeller Center:

The view from my classroom window today (yes, it is in Manhattan; we're in Washington Heights across from a park):

It's going to rain tomorrow and wash away all the snow.

"It's been a long December and there's reason to believe that maybe this year will be better than the last." ~counting crows

I suppose it's a little early for this, but I'll post it now anyway and amend it later if necessary. It's time for my list of the best films of 2008. Obviously I can only list movies that I've seen. The one movie I still want to see that might make my list is Revolutionary Road. But here's my current list (along with their trailers):

1. Slumdog Millionaire

2. The Wrestler

3. Frost/Nixon

4. Milk

5. Doubt


Maybe later I'll go back and add commentary about each film, but I think I've written something about all of them already. I highly recommend each one, but it was incredibly easy to choose a favorite. Seriously, go see Slumdog Millionaire if you haven't already.

On an unrelated note, snow hit the city today. Lots of snow. It started during school, and by the end of the day only half of my class remained because their parents came throughout the day to pick them up due to the storm. It looked beautiful, but I really don't like snow. I hate trudging through it and I hate when it turns to slush and fills the streets and sidewalks.

I ushered at a show tonight, Prayer for My Enemy. It was not a fun trip getting there, but I enjoyed the show (and of course I can't complain because I saw it for free). The acting was particularly strong (the play stars the very talented Tony winner Victoria Clark and Tony nominee Jonathan Groff).
Tomorrow night I'm ushering at a play about which I'm particularly excited. It's The Cripple of Inishmaan, written by my favorite playwright (Martin McDonagh). I'll report back about it.

"Have you ever seen a one trick pony in the field so happy and free? If you've ever seen a one trick pony then you've seen me. Have you ever seen a one-legged dog making its way down the street? If you've ever seen a one-legged dog then you've seen me.
Then you've seen me, I come and stand at every door. Then you've seen me, I always leave with less than I had before. Then you've seen me, bet I can make you smile when the blood, it hits the floor. Tell me, friend, can you ask for anything more? Tell me can you ask for anything more?
Have you ever seen a scarecrow filled with nothing but dust and wheat? If you've ever seen that scarecrow then you've seen me. Have you ever seen a one-armed man punching at nothing but the breeze? If you've ever seen a one-armed man then you've seen me.
Then you've seen me, I come and stand at every door. Then you've seen me, I always leave with less than I had before. Then you've seen me, bet I can make you smile when the blood, it hits the floor. Tell me, friend, can you ask for anything more? Tell me can you ask for anything more?
These things that have comforted me, I drive away. This place that is my home I cannot stay. My only faith's in the broken bones and bruises I display.
Have you ever seen a one-legged man trying to dance his way free? If you've ever seen a one-legged man then you've seen me." ~bruce springsteen

In the last two days I went to three movies. I saw Doubt, Hotel for Dogs, and The Wrestler. Some quick thoughts:

I did enjoy Doubt, despite my reservations. I'm still digesting it so I can't really say much. I feel like Meryl Streep's character was inconsistent, but that may be John Patrick Shanley's fault (or Scott Rudin's). I didn't see the degrees of doubt in her that needed to be portrayed. In one article Meryl speaks about a scene that she wanted to have cut (a scene that wasn't in the play). She had "knock-down, drag-out fights" to have it cut. She says, "To me it destroys part of Sister Aloysius's doubt about what she has done. And that was hard for me." So maybe it wasn't her fault that I had problems with her character. At any rate, I liked the movie for the most part.

The Wrestler was fabulous. Mickey Rourke is getting so much buzz for his performance that you would think there's no way he can actually live up to the hype, but he does. I cannot say enough good things about him in this film. He really is Randy "the Ram" Robinson. I don't want to post spoilers or else I would write more, because I have so much to say, but I don't want to give anything away. Go see it, though; it's such a beautiful film. It doesn't matter if you don't like wrestling; it's really not about that, it's about a man struggling to find meaning in his life and looking for someone or something to hold on to. I'll post the trailer again just because it's so good. Bruce Springsteen's song "The Wrestler" also plays over the closing credits, and it breaks my heart every time I listen to it.

"Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry. So just look at them, and sigh, and know they love you." ~crosby, stills, & nash

I'm sure the rest of this week will be crazy, and after I write something good about my students they always seem to go downhill, but I'm making this post anyway. I can come back and look at it later this week when things are really insane to remind myself why I do what I do. Some things about my job that make me happy:

1. I get a lot of hugs. I get tears and anger and bad words, but I also get hugs. This one girl is an absolute sweetheart, and she hugs me every morning when she enters the room. No matter what kind of mood I'm in, her beautiful smile and kind greeting cheers me up. Her smile really lights up the room. She calls me her "favorite teacher in the world" at least five times a day. For example, when I hand out notebooks, she'll say, "Thank you my favorite teacher in the world." And it's sincere. She's so incredibly wonderful. I love kids like that. I get hugs from other students as well. My former students come to visit me, and they always hug me (even the boys). I think I must be doing something right if I can get seventh grade boys who have put up with a year of my teaching to voluntarily approach me and give me a hug.

2. I have a boy who's usually a complete troublemaker. He doesn't do work, he talks and sings throughout my lessons, he causes disruptions, he's rude to me, and he basically makes my life impossible. But the kids all have moments where they surprise me, and this boy's moment was today. We're working on our unit project; I've explained it multiple times and we did the first part in class already. He's done nothing and hasn't paid attention at all. Today I sat down next to him while the rest of the class was working and explained the project to him. He started writing. At the end of the period he said to me, "This is actually really cool, Ms. B." That may sound like something really small, but it was a big breakthrough for him. He worked and he actually enjoyed it. I hope he keeps it up.

3. It's scary but kind of cool to think about what a large role I play in these kids' lives. One of my former students was visiting me the other day during my free period, and she said that her younger sister goes around the apartment saying my last name. She just repeats my last name over and over. Last year the toddler was learning to talk. She heard her older sister and her mom talking about school a lot, and my name must have been mentioned often, so she picked up on it. I know my students must talk about me at home. Hopefully they say nice things (I think most of them probably do).

4. Related to point #3: I was helping out during my students' social studies class, and the SS teacher was talking about the ten commandments. He said that one of them is "Honor thy father and mother" and reminded them that we are essentially their parents while they're at school, so they have to respect us. They all started calling us Mom and Dad. Sometimes they call me Mom by accident. They're around me so much that it seems natural. I like that.

So even though my job sometimes drives me crazy, it has its perks.

Random comment: What is up with this weather?! It's 65 degrees right now. In December. I've been walking around outside wearing short sleeves and no coat and I'm perfectly comfortable. It's lovely but ridiculous. It's supposed to snow tomorrow. I can't deal with these drastic changes!

"And the sky is full of dreams, but you don't know how to fly. I don't have a simple answer, but I know that I could answer something better. This feeling won't go. Wait for it." ~the killers

Tonight I went to the opening night of Shrek the Musical on Broadway. It wasn't a perfect piece of theatre, but it was a fun night out. I love opening night. There were a lot of celebs there; I saw Cameron Diaz, Ben Stiller & Christine Taylor, Joan Rivers, Cheyenne Jackson, and Bobby Cannavale (I encountered the last two in the lobby before the show and each one paused directly next to me to have a conversation with their guest; it was all I could do to stop myself from staring and drooling because they are both so incredibly gorgeous).

The cast consists of some of my favorite actors, people whom I've seen in many different shows and can't get enough of, and they didn't disappoint. Christopher Sieber, whose performance as Lord Farquad I was looking forward to the most, was hi-larious. I love him. Sutton Foster, for whose talent I have no words, was perfect as Fiona. She really is one of theater's true triple threats and I am convinced that there is nothing she can't do. Brian D'Arcy James gave a strong, nuanced performance as Shrek. Daniel Breaker was funny as Donkey. The acting was definitely the strongest aspect of the show. The book was weak in some parts, but overall I enjoyed the show (I think because I went into it not expecting too much).