"I've had some time to think about it, and watch the sun sink like a stone. I've had some time to think about you, on the long ride home. Headlights searching down the driveway, the house is dark as it can be. I go inside and all is silent, and seems as empty as the inside of me." ~patty griffin

I know I haven't posted in awhile, so I'll make up for that with a big post today. I haven't had any time at all. And it's especially difficult because I don't have internet in my apartment. If you're reading this and you're wondering why I haven't been keeping in touch with you, I apologize. I really am exhausted. I know that's not a good excuse, but it's true. Here's an outline of my day. I get up every morning at 6:00am. I go to school and am on my feet until 3:00pm. Teachers don't sit down. Ever. Seriously. Except during lunch. After the kids leave I clean stuff up and organize the classroom. Sometimes I stay and plan or do other things that need to get done or hold detention. I usually leave by 4:00pm and am back at my apartment around 5:00pm. By then I'm drained, physically and emotionally. Every day this past week I had something else to do at night. This was my schedule:

I forget what I did on Monday night. On Tuesday I went to the doctor after school to get a TB test, then I went back to school for open house night where I met some parents. I got home around 10:00pm. On Wednesday I went to Bible Study for two hours and got home after 10:00pm. On Thursday I went to a concert and didn't get home until around midnight. On Friday I went to the doctor again so she could check the results of my TB test, then I did some shopping, and I finally came home and spent hours cutting out letters for bulletin boards. Along with school and all of those activities, I planned lessons. I really, really need some time to relax. Every week is busy. I need time to do fun things and to have quiet time for myself, but it's impossible to fit everything in. And, as a result, I've been bad at communicating with people. My parents sometimes call me because they're afraid I've dropped off the face of the earth.

Teaching is hard. I don't feel like writing about the specifics, but I have to put up with a lot. I'm the kind of person who needs to be liked, but teachers can't be that way, so I'm trying to adjust. Some of my kids hate me, and I need to realize that nothing will change their minds. I just need to figure out how to prevent them from completely ruining my lessons and causing chaos in the classroom. Peter, another 6th grade ELA/SS teacher, has been a huge help to me. I complain and vent to him and he listens. He gives me advice. He tells me stories that make me feel a little bit better about what I have to deal with. I don't know what I'd do without him. He understands. Not all my kids are bad, though. Some are really sweet.

I feel like writing about some happy stuff. Thursday evening provided me with some much-needed fun time. I went to a concert. It was at the Delacorte Theater in Central Park. On my way there, I stopped at the Sex and the City movie shoot (they were filming on 70th & Lex). There were lots of fans there, but I managed to get up into the front row of people. Mr. Big himself (Chris Noth) walked over to the crowd to say hi and stood right in front of me. We had an actual (albeit short) conversation, during which he made eye contact with me. He has gorgeous, piercing eyes that make you feel like the only person in the world when they're looking into yours. He shook my hand, too. He was very nice. He was shooting a scene with Kristin Davis (Charlotte). Apparently she's very shy, so she didn't come over to the crowd. I loved just observing what was going on. It reminded me of all the MTV shoots I worked on last summer. So that was very cool.

After that I headed to the Delacorte Theater. I won tickets to a Patty Griffin concert in an online raffle. Tickets cost $50+, so I was pretty excited about getting in for free. Nic came with me. We had very good seats. The CMA Songwriters played first; there were four of them and they were great. Then Allan Toussaint played. I'm not really into his style of music, but he's a very talented pianist. Then Patty played. She was wonderful. As is the case with most artists, hearing her music live was so much better than listening to her albums (her albums are great, but the live experience is just so much more meaningful). It was the perfect music to unwind to. I love her voice; it's so unique and conveys so much emotion. I loved watching her play the guitar (she's got really fast fingers) and occasionally stomp her foot as she got into the music, but a few times I just closed my eyes for a moment and let the music fill me up. It was a good evening.
This morning I went to the movies. I saw Death at a Funeral. It was hilarious. Tomorrow is the Broadway flea market. I'm really excited. Hopefully I'll score some good stuff.
Here are some pictures from Thursday. I wasn't allowed to use a flash at the Sex and the City set or at the concert, so all of the pictures are blurry because of that.
Chris Noth:

Kristin Davis:

Production area:

The CMA Songwriters:

Patty Griffin:

"I think this place is full of spies. I think they're onto me. Didn't anybody, didn't anybody tell you? Didn't anybody tell you how to gracefully disappear in a room?" ~the national

My brother, being aware of my complete obsession with The National (it's pretty scary by now), got me one of the band's t-shirts for my birthday. He's always good at picking out thoughtful gifts.

After a much-needed long weekend (we had Thursday and Friday off for Rosh Hashana), I must go back to school tomorrow. This will be our first full week of school, and we don't have any more days off for a while. I didn't spend as much time planning lessons as I should have this weekend. I guess I mostly relaxed, which I needed, but I know it's going to hurt me this week. I went to the Braves/Mets game last Wednesday night and got to watch the Braves blow their lead. That was fun. But my dad and my friends Nic and Christin came with me, so at least I had good company with whom to watch my team lose.

Tonight Nic and I are having our own Emmy-watching party. I don't really care who wins because, as usual, I'm frustrated with the list of nominees and I think the Emmys are crap because they're based on politics rather than talent, but because I'm a big TV fan I have to watch. Wow, sorry for that run-on sentence. I used the word 'because' three times. And I don't feel like going back and changing it. Do I seem particularly bitter today? I'm sorry. Hopefully I'll be more perky the next time I write. I think I've been listening to The National too much.

"You gotta cry without weeping, talk without speaking, scream without raising your voice. You know I took the poison from the poison stream, then I floated out of here. Singing...Ha La La La De Day, Ha La La La De Day, Ha La La De Day." ~u2

I (barely) survived my first week as a teacher. It was a little crazy. During my multiple orientations, people kept telling us that being a teacher is the hardest job in the world. They weren't lying. In fact, I can narrow it down; being a middle school teacher in a NYC public school is the hardest job in the world. I love my kids, but they get restless pretty easily. I don't blame them; today we had four periods of ELA, and two of those periods were the last two periods of the day. Needless to say they were pretty wired by the end of that. At the end of the day when it was time to go home the dean stepped in and put them in their places. They're scared of him. They're a handful, and it's not easy to find enough stuff to keep them busy and on task all day. It's hard when they mostly sit in the same room. I have one kid who's really smart (he's the only one who passed the ELA test last year), but he must have ADD or something (I haven't gotten their IEPs yet so I don't know). He cannot sit still. And he's always talking. I feel like I'm yelling his name in between all of my sentences. He's a sweet kid, though, he just always has to be talking and moving. They're all sweet kids, they just don't like to pay attention.

I'm glad it's the weekend and I'll have some time to rest. Yesterday I had to take a break from school-related stuff, so last night I went to a screening of some of ABC's pilots. Three-and-a-half hours of TV was a nice relaxer. They showed Pusing Daisies, Dirty Sexy Money, Samantha Who?, and Big Shots. Here are my grades:

Dirty Sexy Money - A. This show was my favorite; I definitely want to watch it this season. It's got an amazing cast (Peter Krause, Donald Sutherland, Billy Baldwin, Samaire Armstrong, Jill Clayburgh, and more). It's very well done. The writing is great, and I especially loved the music. Mark my words, this is seriously the show to watch this year.

Samantha Who? - B+. I have a soft spot for Christina Applegate, who's the star. She does a good job with the material. Melissa McCarthy (Sookie on Gilmore Girls) is in it as well, and so are Barry Watson, Jennifer Esposito, and Jean Smart. It's about a woman (Applegate) who wakes up from a coma with amnesia and quickly realizes she wasn't such a great person before. Now wants to take advantage of her opportunity to start over.

Pushing Daisies - B. There were many times during this show when I didn't know whether I should laugh or not. I couldn't help it, though; it was funny. At first the concept was just a little too weird for me. It got a little better when Anna Friel came onscreen. Then it got too sentimental. So many people are raving about this pilot that I'm surprised I didn't like it more. There are a bunch of people calling it the best pilot ever, and I don't quite understand why. It's not bad, but I don't think it's the best thing ever. I'll watch it when it starts to air, though, and give it a fair shot.

Big Shots - B-. This show gets bonus points just because of all the hot actors in it. It was introduced as "Desperate CEOs," which is a good way to describe it. It's got an all-star cast consisting of Michael Vartan, Dylan McDermott, Josh Malina, and Christopher Titus. Too bad they're not working with the best material. Rob Thomas (genius creator of Veronica Mars) was hired recently, though, which means it should get better.

I'll leave you with a picture of me with Christina Applegate, whom I wish the best of luck in her return to television.

"Hey, are you awake? Yeah, I'm right here. Well, can I ask you about today?" ~the national

That's from "About Today," my favorite song of the moment. It's so sad it makes me want to cry every time I hear it; it absolutely breaks my heart. I love it. The violin and the steady drum beat and the understated yet devastating lyrics combine to create an indescribable effect on me.

On Sunday I celebrated my birthday at home with my parents, my friend Kim, and my friend/apartmentmate Joy and her parents. We had a great dinner and my favorite cake (a really yummy homemade ice cream cake), and they sang multiple versions of Happy Birthday to me (they all sang the traditional version, Joy sang a different version, and her dad sang a third version). It was wonderful. I had such a good weekend spending time with my family and friends. For my birthday my parents gave me a ticket to the Broadway production of Pygmalion, starring Claire Danes (one of my favorite actresses). It's orchestra row A, dead center; it's the perfect seat. I'm so excited. I also got a really nice watch, and the book In the Name of Salome by Julia Alvarez. It's a novel based on the life of Salome Urena, and my school is named after her, so I'm excited to read it. Those were all great but fairly normal presents. Today is my actual birthday, and I received some much more untraditional gifts. Seventeen of them, to be exact. In the morning I stood outside on my school's basketball court with the other teachers, holding up a sign with my name on it. My kids lined up in front of me, waiting for me to lead them into our classroom. I don't know who was more nervous, me or them. I met most of their parents, who brought them to school. Most of the parents don't speak much English, so that made it difficult for me to converse with them beyond introductions. My kids look so young. They're still babies. They're Dominican and have names that I'm trying hard to pronounce correctly. I only have one class, and I teach them for most of the day. It was difficult to find enough things to do with them today, especially because for the first few days they don't leave the room for classes like art and science; I really do have them all day. We managed, though. At first they were so quiet. They were making signs displaying their names and I kept telling them that they were allowed to talk to their neighbors and start getting to know each other because the classroom was filled with an eerie silence. By the end of the day, though, I was wishing that they would go back to that quiet stage. They wouldn't stop talking. I guess it's good that they now feel more comfortable with each other, but they're a chatty bunch and I know it'll be difficult for me to control the noise level. At any rate, I love them. I know that at times I'll be incredibly frustrated with them and they will make me cry and want to give up, but, for better or for worse, they're mine. That's a pretty cool feeling. It's not a bad birthday present.

Thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes, I really appreciate it. :)

"It's a beautiful day, don't let it get away." ~u2

Yesterday my parents and I went to the U.S. Open. It was the perfect day to go; in fact, there were so many matches to choose from that it was hard to decide what to watch. We saw some great tennis. Unfortunately, almost all of the players that I wanted to win ended up losing. I watched Maria Sharapova, the defending champion and second seed, lose in three sets. I really like her so I wasn't very happy about that. I also watched Martina Hingis, one of my all-time favorite players (actually, she's probably my number-one favorite all-time player) lose in three sets. Donald Young and John Isner, two young Americans who have been getting lots of buzz, also lost. Isner lost to Roger Federer, who is considered by many people to be the best tennis player who ever lived. Isner won the first set and I was so excited; then I left the court to go watch another match and Federer stepped up his game. Andy Murray lost in four sets, which was disappointing. I was happy to see Tommy Haas beat Sebastian Grojean. And Andy Roddick beat Thomas Johansson. Anyway, I got to see the best players in the world play some good matches and it was a fun day. I missed going to the U.S. Open. My family used to go every year. Then when I went off to college I couldn't go because I was in Virginia while it was going on. Now that I'm living in NYC, it's perfect; I just took the subway to Flushing Meadows and met my parents there. I went home with them and we're celebrating my birthday tonight (my birthday is on Tuesday and I'm heading back into the city tomorrow). My college apartmentmate Joy has been staying at my house for the past week, and I'm glad I got to come home this weekend and see her.

I have pictures from the past week. First, here's Coney Island:






And here's my classroom: