"Love is a battlefield..." ~pat benetar

In honor of Young People's Poetry Week:

"Tell me why. Tell me why. This is the book I never read, these are the words I never said. This is the path I'll never tread, these are the dreams I'll dream instead. This is the joy that's seldom spread, these are the tears, the tears we shed. This is the fear, this is the dread, these are the contents of my head. And these are the years that we have spent, and this is what they represent. And this is how I feel, do you know how I feel? 'Cause i don't think you know how I feel, I don't think you know what I feel, I don't think you know what I fear, you don't know what I fear." ~annie lennox

That's such a beautiful, heartbreaking song. Kelly Clarkson actually does a great cover of it that I've been listening to lately.

I think people need a good laugh right now, so here are a couple of quotes from one of the 90 research papers that I have to grade this weekend (probably more quotes to come as I keep grading):

"He was sent to the hospital near Edinburgh in France..."
"Fumbling to put on their helmets, a common name for a gas mask, one man stumbles..."

Both of those are from the same paper. I know it's awful of me to laugh while I'm grading papers, but sometimes I just can't help it. I mean, an 18 year old should know the difference between a helmet and a gas mask, right?? Oh dear. I love the kid, I really do, and I'm not making fun of him, but it's hard not to laugh when reading that in a formal research paper. Ms. W. says we have to laugh because otherwise we would be crying.

"I've been up all night, and I might sleep all day. Get your dreams just right, and let 'em slip away, I might sleep all day." ~counting crows

I'm back from (sometimes) sunny South Carolina. And I'm exhausted. We were supposed to come back last night but our flight was cancelled because of the weather in Newark, so they put us on a 6:15am flight this morning. We had to get up at 4:00am. Not fun. But we had a great trip. We spent most of the time packing up stuff in the house. My grandparents aren't moving until August, but they have so much stuff that they really needed to start getting ready early. It felt like we did so much work and yet looked like we had done nothing when we left. My aunt, uncle, and cousin from NYC were there with us. It was great to hang out with Bess. On the first day she told me she was so glad I was there with her, and I felt the same way. I love Bess. She's the cousin with whom I'm closest. She's 13, but she seems much older (she's 5'9", so she looks much older as well). Every day we would collect a bunch of stuff (miniature tea sets or some other item that our grandmother collects), put on a movie (we watched "She's the Man," "Yours, Mine, and Ours," and "Charlie's Angels"), and wrap and pack the trinkets. We went shopping a few times. We tried on these gorgeous shoes (can you tell which feet are mine?):

Along with some other crazy clothes. Here we are again in our shoes (taking a picture of ourselves in the mirror):

Bess is one of my favorite people. We're very different, but we get along so well. She's loud and outgoing and cuddly and uninhibited and I love it. Whenever we're walking (through a store, around the house, anywhere) she'll put her arm around across my shoulders or around my waist or link it through mine, or she'll drape herself over my back and lock her arms around my neck or my waist. She loves hugging and touching, and sometimes it's nice to have someone to hug. I wish I could be the kind of person who feels comfortable initiating physical contact like that.
Bess, however, is not necessarily the kind of person you want to be around before 6:00am. She has way too much energy and requires those around her to exhibit the same amount of energy. Luckily she watched a movie by herself on the plane ride home this morning and let me read my book quietly.
A few years ago Bess and I went to see the Broadway production of Little Women together. Of course she talked throughout the entire thing. Usually that annoys me to no end, but during this particular show I actually appreciated it (although I did keep shushing her for the sake of those sitting near us). I absolutely hated the show, so Bess made it more interesting. She has some sort of commentary for everything. She'd say things like, "Ooh, that's the ugliest wig I've ever seen." Or, "Why on earth did people ever think those kind of clothes were a good idea?" Or, "Ew, he's waaaay too old for her." She's pretty funny.

It was great to spend time with my grandparents and my aunt and uncle as well. I love my family so much.
I can't believe I have to go back to school in a couple of days. I'm not looking foward to it.

"Welcome to the jungle." ~guns 'n roses

Today was an eventful day at my high school. Around 10:30am we went into emergency lock-down, which has happened before (for bomb threats and drug busts), so that wasn't such a big deal; we're all used to those. I was with my class in the library and they kept working on their research (a lock-down just means that no one can leave the room in which they are located when the lock-down is initiated). Then one student went onto the local NBC website and found that our high school was the lead story. The headline read, "Tucker High Evacuated." That caused quite a stir among my kids, because we were sitting inside a school building and obviously had not been evacuated. There was a video on the website (it should still be on the front page) with a newscaster reporting from our school about a chemical leak, and the students kept playing the video. The school is a campus made up of 19 different buildings, and one building was evacuated because of a chemical spill. 16 kids were taken to the hospital. There were tons of ambulances, fire trucks, police cars, and news vans parked outside. Of course it was impossible for my kids to focus on their work when all this was going on. The headline on the website was eventually changed to "Some Students Evacuated at Tucker High School" and intercom announcements told us to stay where we were. The kids joked around, pretending to be sick, and kept looking out the windows, but they eventually got annoyed when we had to stay together in the library past the end of the period and into their lunch time. They were pretty antsy (and hungry) by the time we were finally released. So was I. At the end of the day they let us know that a student had released pepper spray in a classroom, and that was what caused people to be sick. That student definitely caused a whole lotta chaos, and he or she is probably going to face serious criminal charges. There's always something going on at my school. Last week it was a kid cutting another kid with a box cutter during the middle of a class (the inured kid was sent to the hospital). It's pretty sad.

"I don't know anymore what it's for. I'm not even sure if there is anyone who is in the sun. Will you help me to understand? 'Cause I've been caught in between all I wish for and all I need. Maybe you're not even sure what it's for any more than me. May God's love be with you, always. May God's love be with you." ~joseph arthur

I've had that song on repeat for awhile now. It's wonderful.

My kids found me on Facebook. I'm "friends" with some of them now. Heh. I love them.

I am so ready for spring break. Have I mentioned that already? Be prepared to hear it a few more times this week. I'm going home for Easter; it'll be the first Easter I've spent at home in 4 years. Then on Monday my mom and I are flying to Columbia, S.C. to visit my grandparents . My aunt and uncle and one of my cousins will be there at the same time, so I'll get to spend time with them. My grandparents are moving to a smaller house soon, and we'll all help them get ready for the move. They said I can claim any items from their house that I want. Another one of my uncles will be there the week after and is driving back up north in a rented truck, in which he'll take all the stuff that us northern family members have claimed. My grandparents have a pretty big house and waaaay too much stuff; my grandmother is a packrat (a trait I inherited from her). So there's no way all their furniture and everything will fit in their new house. I don't know what furniture I'll be able to fit into my NYC apartment, either.

My grandparents are thrilled about the move, so of course I'm happy because they are, but I'm also a little sad about it. I love their house. It's a beautiful, brick house with huge white pillars in front, holding up the second-floor balcony that overlooks the front yard. It sits atop a hill and is stately and southern. It was the first house in which I lived. I was born in Columbia and was brought back from the hospital to that house. I have many fond memories there. It is a child's dream house. My grandmother collects teddy bears, and they inhabit every single room. They overflow from antique benches, shelves and miniature pieces of furniture tucked into corners. They sit on tiny chairs at tiny tables decorated with beautiful, hand-painted tea sets (I can't even count how many such arrangements there are, but they are scattered throughout the house). Gran taught me what she called "Claire Bear's song" but what is actually titled "The Teddy Bear's Picnic." I still have it memorized. We would sing it as I played with the bears at their never-ending tea parties. The walls are covered in needlepoint creations (one of them being my first needlepoint attempt), pictures, and random odds-and-ends. In the piano room is a beautiful loveseat that is always piled with presents. Whenever Gran spots something that she thinks a friend or family member would like, she buys it, wraps it, and saves it for a special occasion (she often forgets what it is by then). One room is filled with her cards. She makes and sells calligraphy cards; she runs a pretty good business. The room is stocked with shelves for the cards, and when no one is sleeping in the room, the beds are covered with piles of cards. Whenever I visit she tells me to pick out the cards I like. She made some with a Bono quote especially for me. Photos fill the house. They sit on every inch of free space. They're mostly photos of me and my cousins, but there are also photos of my mom and her brothers when they were younger, other relatives, and my grandparents on some of their many trips. There are candy dishes scattered throughout the house, and they always feature some sort of seasonal candy (it will most likely be jelly beans for Easter). There is a pool out back that I love. I could go on and on about my grandparents' house, but I'll stop now. I'll miss it. I'll have to take lots of pictures during this trip.