"Why leave me hanging on a star when you deem me so high..." ~nick drake

If I spent the entire weekend grading papers I would go crazy, so I've been giving myself breaks. I just finished reading Sharp Objects, Gillian Flynn's first novel. Oh. My. Gosh. It was amazing and incredibly well-constructed. I couldn't put it down. I love the feeling I get when reading a really, really good thriller. I love the suspense and the tension. This novel was so much more than just a thriller, though. I didn't want to finish it because it was so good and I wanted to savor it, but I couldn't stop myself. I can't wait for Flynn to finish writing her next novel.

Before reading Sharp Objects I read Jennifer Egan's The Keep. I've read both of Egan's other novels (The Invivsible Circus and Look at Me) and enjoyed them, so I was very eager to read The Keep. It did not disappoint. Like Sharp Objects, it was another suspenseful, well-written novel that kept me on the edge of my seat. Egan is such a talented writer, and she's willing to take risks (which paid off in this novel).

I found both Sharp Objects and The Keep on a list of the best books of 2006; I'll have to go back and look at the list to find some more good options, because those two novels were the best reads I've had in a long time.

Back to grading. Ugh. Tonight I'm going to a Richmond Braves game, though, which will be another fun break.

"And I know that I love the rain the most when it stops. Yeah, when it stops. Well, the dark waves, they start singing together, I can't believe this change in the weather. I start to hum a child's rhyme, and all these boats, they start rocking in time. And I love the rain the most when it stops. Yes, we love the rain the most when it stops. Yeah, when it stops." ~joe purdy

I came home from school today with three massive stacks of research papers and tests to grade. It took me multiple trips to get them into my car and then out of it once I reached my apartment. They're now piled up in the middle of our living room floor. Oh, the joys of being an English teacher.

Here's something that's been bugging me: I hate it when people are so shocked when I tell them I'm teaching in NYC next year. Well, maybe not when they're shocked, but when they express incredulity or doubt or fear or something along those lines. Some people react as if I've just told them I'm going out into the wilderness to teach English to a pack of wolves. There's this common perception that all inner-city teenagers (especially in NY) are bad-ass juvenile delinquents who don't want to and/or can't learn. That really bothers me. It also bothers me that people assume I can't handle it. In just the past week I've been told, "You're too nice to teach in NYC," and, "You just don't look like the kind of person who could handle that." What gave that person the right to determine, just by looking at me, whether or not I can handle it? Yes, I do get a little anxious sometimes when I think about my future career, but I truly believe I can be successful and will enjoy it. I know it'll be a challenge and it'll be a new experience, but I'm confident in my decision. I guess all that matters is how I feel about it, but I do get sick of hearing some other peoples' reactions.

"I thought I was smarter as I flew into the sun, but it turned out the way it does with everyone." ~audioslave

Thanks to Heather for sharing this really cool activity! Here's my Daemon, Sereno. Go find yours!



By the way, I cannot wait to see this movie.

"They scream your name at night in the street, your graduation gown lies in rags at your feet. And in the lonely cool before dawn, you hear their engines roaring on..." ~bruce springsteen

I haven't written in awhile because my life has been way too busy lately. Some of the stuff that's been occupying my time is fun, end-of-the-year celebratory stuff, while some is more annoying/overwhelming. But I think things are winding down now, which is nice.

I've gotten to attend events that have allowed me reflect on my time here. My synchro banquet was great, although it was so sad to say goodbye to those girls who are like my sisters. They gave me a beautiful mug that they made for me (and all signed) at All Fired Up!, which was very sweet. I went to the IV senior dinner, my last Paid in Full, and the final Choeur De Roi concert, which were all great. I also got to grade 90 research papers this past weekend, though, which was not fun. And tomorrow I'll start receiving a new crop of 90 more (their final drafts). Joy.

If you're in need of a laugh, read this. It's an email from a girl in one of my classes; I know I've mentioned her before. She's absolutely hilarious (and slightly crazy). I've never met anyone like her and know I never will again. Anyway, she was absent when I passed back the graded rough drafts, and her friend Brigitt volunteered to take her paper and give it to her. The two girls are always together, so I knew it wouldn't be a problem. Except Brigitt had to go to the hospital earlier this week and has been MIA since then. Here's the email that BigBird sent:

Subject: im gonna die because im gonna try and beat brigitt up but then she'll fight me back and then ill die.

so i cant get in touch with her to get my paper.
she wont call me back.
she wont text me back.
i have no earthly idea what to do.
i planned on just retyping my paper, bc i wrote that at the library, so i was just gonna copy it all onto my computer. but i dont have it to copy. im gonna die. i cant re write it. i mean i can, but this is gay and just not fair. i know i sound like a little whiney baby but i cant help it im about to start my period and im gonna die and prom is this weekend and i dont even have a dress yet and alskd al;sdfja;lsfkj a;kfja;lsfkj a;sl jkaljk a;lskdjf alksdj fa;lsdkfj adkjfasdlf;k
I HATE MY LIFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
loveyou.
kristen.
aka bigbird.

And that's totally unsurprising/normal coming from her.

I'm ready to graduate. I've been ready. There are things I know I'll miss, and I know the feeling of loss will probably kick in a few months from now, but at this moment I'm ready to leave. I'm ready to be an adult in the real world. Today I temporarily felt like I fast forwarded through a chunk of my life; I was a soccer mom. I found myself driving a Volvo around town with three kids in the backseat (ages 3, 5, and 6), taking them to a soccer practice. I'm not quite ready to be in that position permanently, but it was fun for an evening.

I finished my Education Student Teaching Portfolio tonight; it's due tomorrow. It's basically worth my entire grade for that class, so I hope I do well. It'll be nice to get it out of my hands. Tomorrow evening I have two pizza parties to go to. The first is in my education class and the second is for senior Writing Fellows. There are all these continuous reminders that all this is almost over.

"Love is a battlefield..." ~pat benetar

In honor of Young People's Poetry Week: