"Tired and wired we ruin too easy, sleep in our clothes and wait for winter to leave." ~the national

Random Thoughts on Kids/Teaching
*Kids are crazy. Especially mine. You honestly would not believe some of them. Sometimes there are stories about teachers doing crazy things and people can't believe it, but normal people cannot imagine what being in a classroom surrounded by hormonal, needy, angry, self-conscious thirteen-year-olds is like. Seriously. You cannot judge, because you do not know. I read an article last week about a teacher who cut off a girl's braid. My teacher friend read the same article and mentioned it to me. She said, "You know the first thing I thought? I bet the kid had it coming." And I was so relieved, because that had been my first thought as well.

*I had a conversation with a boy today. He kept going on about how I don't like him, and I finally snapped. I said, "You constantly throw paper balls at other people. You play marbles during my class. You regularly curse at me and at the other kids. You start fights. You tell me what an awful teacher I am nearly every day. You are always incredibly rude and disrespectful to me. You don't listen to me, even when I try to be nice and when I try to have serious conversations with you. You take absolutely no responsibility for your actions, you just blame everything on your anger management problem or on other people. So why exactly should I like you?" I just can't get through to some of them, and it's incredibly frustrating. I try to be nice and it does absolutely nothing. Luckily I have some great kids whom I love. One boy sent me an email today telling me I'm a good teacher. Those things make me happy.

*Kids are incredibly honest. They have no filter; they just say whatever comes to mind. Here are some questions I've been asked recently:
"Do you live alone?"
"Don't you get lonely?"
"Don't you even have a pet or something?"
"Do you have a boyfriend?"
"Your forehead is shiny."
"Why don't you have kids?"
"Don't you want kids?"
"I liked your hair better last year when it was long. Why did you cut it?"

Okay, enough about kids. It's the weekend, which means I can think about something else for a very short while.

My Weekend
Tonight Nic and I are going to see Crazy Heart, with Jeff Bridges and Maggie Gyllenhaal. I can't wait, mostly because of the amazing things I've heard about Jeff Bridges' performance. I love him. I think he's fabulous. He's one of those older guys on whom I have a bit of a crush. He needs an Oscar already (he's been nominated four times). Maybe this year (fingers crossed).

Tomorrow Kim and Jeff are coming into the city so I can see her before Christmas and we can exchange gifts. We'll go out to lunch and maybe go see the tree in Rock Center, although it'll be snowing so I'm not sure how much we want to wander. Then tomorrow night I'm going to my friend's choir concert, and we're going out to dinner afterwards.

On Sunday I have church and then I'm going to my aunt and uncle's to decorate cookies. I've been loving the Advent services at my church. The music is always a highlight for me at this church; they have a great band. There are always a bunch of musicians onstage, including multiple guitarists, a drummer, a trumpet player, a saxophone player, a cellist, and singers. The Christmas hymns sound particularly amazing when they're backed by that fabulous band. Last week we sang "Joy to the World" like I've never heard it before; it was incredibly funky with a great sax solo in the middle, and the whole congregation was completely into it. It's wonderful to be moved by these songs and to be surrounded by others who feel the same way.

There's a Christmas tree business directly across the street from my apartment. I like looking at it whenever I leave my building. The lights are always on in the morning when I leave for school. Here's the view from my front step:

"They don't even know what it is to be a fan. Y'know? To truly love some silly little piece of music, or some band, so much that it hurts." ~almost famous

The newest issue of Rolling Stone recently arrived in my mailbox. It is devoted to the best of the 00's: the best songs, the best albums, the best movies...so I decided to make my own list. Not of the best songs of the decade, but of my favorite songs of the decade. Because I think it's impossible to determine the best songs; music is completely subjective. Rolling Stone is allowed to say Gnarls Barkley's "Crazy" is the best song of the decade, and I'm allowed to want to hurl when I hear that song.
This was not an easy list to make. There are songs that I wanted to include but couldn't because I limited myself to 50. I may edit it if I think of some songs that really should be on the list but somehow temporarily slipped my brain. And I may try and make a playlist for you to listen to if I have time (ha!). At any rate, here's what I have, listed alphabetically by artist:

Claire's 50 Favorite Songs of the 00's
The Airborne Toxic Event - Sometime Around Midnight
Alexi Murdoch - Orange Sky
The Arcade Fire - Rebellion (Lies)
The Arcade Fire - Wake Up
Band of Horses - The General Specific
Bell X1 - Eve, the Apple of My Eye
Bishop Allen - Things Are What You Make of Them
Bright Eyes - Lua
Coldplay - The Scientist
Conor Oberst - Cape Canaveral
Corinne Bailey Rae - Put Your Records On
Counting Crows - Cowboys
Counting Crows - Holiday in Spain
Counting Crows - Miami
Damien Rice - Gray Room
Dashboard Confessional - Vindicated
Death Cab for Cutie - A Lack of Color
The Felice Brothers - Frankie's Gun
The Felice Brothers - Wonderful Life
Frightened Rabbit - Good Arms vs. Bad Arms
Glasvegas - Geraldine
Gomez - Notice
The Hold Steady - Lord, I'm Discouraged
Imogen Heap - Hide and Seek
Jacob Golden - On a Saturday
Joseph Arthur - In the Sun
Kings of Leon - Use Somebody
LCD Soundsystem - All My Friends
Mat Kearney - All I Need
Matt Pond PA - New Hampshire
MGMT - Kids
Modest Mouse - Custom Concern
Modest Mouse - Float On
The National - Apartment Story
The National - The Geese of Beverly Road
The National - Slow Show
The Old 97s - The New Kid
The Postal Service - Be Still My Heart
R.E.M. - Supernatural Superserious
Ryan Adams - Answering Bell
Ryan Adams - Come Pick Me Up
Snow Patrol - Chocolate
Snow Patrol - The Finish Line
The Strokes - Is This It
The Swell Season - Falling Slowly
U2 - City of Blinding Lights
U2 - In a Little While
U2 - Kite
Vampire Weekend - M79
The Wave Pictures - Now You Are Pregnant

I have more to write about (my movie reviews of The Lovely Bones and Invictus, recent fun events) but absolutely no time in which to do so. My Master's thesis is due on Wednesday. I've been working on it for a year and it's a disaster at the moment. So maybe later this week?

"If you should ask then maybe they'd tell you what I would say. True colors fly in blue and black, blue silken sky and burning flag. Colors crash, collide in blood shot eyes. If I could, you know I would, if I could, I would let it go. This desperation, dislocation, separation, condemnation, revelation, in temptation, isolation, desolation. Let it go, and so fade away. To let it go, oh yeah, and so fade away. To let it go, oh no, and so fade away. I'm wide awake. I'm wide awake. Wide awake. I'm not sleeping, oh no no." ~u2

Here is my favorite performance of my favorite song. It's U2 performing "Bad" at Live Aid. Oh, how I wish I had been there to see it. Unfortunately, I was less than a year old and my parents never took me to rock concerts as a child. I've seen U2 perform this song live, but not with these snippets. It doesn't get any better than this. Lou Reed's "Satellite of Love" and "Walk on the Wild Side" and The Rolling Stones' "Ruby Tuesday" and "Sympathy for the Devil" are all thrown in there. When you're going to cover songs, you've got to draw from the best, and Lou Reed and The Rolling Stones are definitely among the best (I'm still amazed I saw Lou Reed and Mick Jagger perform at the recent Hall of Fame concerts, along with U2 of course). One of the main reasons I love U2 and Counting Crows is their ability to make every performance of a song unique, largely by adding snippets of other songs. Counting Crows is brilliant at it, and U2 isn't bad, either. I could listen to this nonstop forever.



It's funny when you don't want to talk and then somehow in the middle of a conversation you just open up. If someone asks me specifically about how things are going and I'm in a bad mood, I'll usually just get frustrated at them. If I don't want to talk, an interrogation will just piss me off. So don't keep asking me questions. But I was talking to Alex tonight and he was talking and it made me want to talk, too. It's nice when that happens.

"It's been a long December and there's reason to believe that maybe this year will be better than the last." ~counting crows

I uploaded a new video on youtube. Watch it, because it's such a beautiful, beautiful version of this song. It's Counting Crows' performance of "A Long December" from their Abbey Road Sessions. Adam is incredibly sick, which, to me, makes his voice sound particularly gorgeous in this song. And they add the "I am feathered" alts (from "A Murder of One"), which makes me so incredibly happy. Those lines inspired my feather tattoo. AD keeps stretching out the song as if he doesn't want it to end; I love it when he does that, because I never want it to end, either.


I have movie reviews, but I don't really have time to go into detail. So I'll be quick.

1. Brothers
Two things really made this film for me. #1 is the use of U2's music. Two characters bond over the U2 song "Bad," which is probably my favorite song of all time. Jake Gyllenhaal's character says something like, "I used to listen to this song all the time when I was 17 or 18" and Natalie Portman's character says she did, too. I got chills, because so did I. I remember lying in bed when I was in high school just playing it over and over and over before I went to bed. Every night. I was obsessed with it. So any movie that asserts it's brilliance is okay by me. The U2 song "Winter" plays over the closing credits, so of course I had to stay until the very end and listen to the whole thing. It's a great song. It's a Jim Sheridan film so I wasn't surprised by U2's presence, but I was happy.
The performances are the other brilliant aspect of this film. The three leads (Tobey Maguire, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Natalie Portman) give very solid performances. Tobey Maguire really, really surprised me (in a good way). He's a strong Oscar contender; he makes an unbelievable transformation. He scared me. And I'm in love with Jake Gyllenhaal. He's just so charming. Oh, and the girls! The two girls in this film, especially the older one, were so good!
"Bad" is the U2 song playing in second half of the trailer.

2. Up in the Air
You can't help but be charmed by George Clooney. He just has that certain something, that je ne sais quoi. I had a couple problems with the movie (the main one I won't write about here because it would give away part of the plot), but overall, I enjoyed it. I'm not so sure it deserves the best picture honor it just received from the National Board of Review (that honor goes to "Nine" in my mind right now). But it definitely has a great shot at the Oscar for best song. Sad Brad Smith's "Help Yourself" is beautiful. It's in the trailer and you can listen to it here.

3. When in Rome
This was an advance screening. Is it a good movie? No. It's predictable and conventional and mostly nothing special, except for it's leading lady. I love Kristen Bell. She needs to get offered some meatier roles! The movie did have its moments, though. There was one car scene that I loved. And it made me smile, so that's a good thing, right?

"I am the one who loved you. I am the one who stayed. I am the one and you walked away. I am the one who waited. And now you act like you just don't give a damn. Like you never knew who I am." ~next to normal

The reprise of "I Am the One" is one of my absolute favorite songs. It's from Next to Normal, my favorite musical. Every time I hear that song I cry. Really. For some reason it just popped into my head, and I started crying. I cannot listen to it without tears welling up. It breaks my heart. And I love it. Why are we drawn to things that make us feel pain? I guess sometimes feeling anything is a good thing. But anyway, for me, this song has to be sung by Bobby Spencer and Aaron Tveit for it to really pack a punch. Speaking of Aaron Tveit, why is he wasting his time on Gossip Girl? I watch the show and I find it entertaining albeit sometimes annoying, but Aaron Tveit is way too good for it. Go see him in Next to Normal and you'll see what I mean. I don't think he should be missing performances of it to film Gossip Girl (although I know he doesn't miss very often, and luckily he's been on every time I've seen the musical).

We went on a field trip today to the Liberty Science Center. I always loved going there as a kid. I remember my Girl Scout troup went there and stayed overnight, and that sleepover was just so exciting to me. It was a fun field trip, although of course it was exhausting. It helped that I only brought half of my homeroom class (the other half had to stay at school because they can't behave). We saw an Imax movie in the giant dome, and even though I'm older now, that experience is still thrilling to me. My kids were overwhelmed by it. One of my boys (the recent arrival) cried because he was scared. Here are some of my kids:

My class is mostly made up of boys. On the trip I brought 9 boys and 3 girls. I have a total of 7 girls in my class (and 18 boys). I'm not sure why it's so unbalanced.

I just finished reading The Elegance of the Hedgehog (I had it on hold at the library for at least five months and finally received it last week). I loved it because it's so beautifully written. I kept stopping and writing down quotes that jumped out at me. Here are a few gems from the character of Paloma, a brilliant 12-year-old who seems to be reading my mind:

"Personally I think grammar is a way to attain beauty....Pity the poor in spirit who know neither the enchantment nor the beauty of language."

"In the end, I wonder if the true movement of the world might not be a voice raised in song."

"Teenagers think they're adults when in fact they're imitating adults who never really made it into adulthood and who are running away from life. It's pathetic."

And the excerpt from which the title is derived:

"Madame Michel has the elegance of the hedgehog: on the outside, she's covered in quills, a real fortress, but my gut feeling is that on the inside, she has the same simple refinement as the hedgehog: a deceptively indolent little creature, fiercely solitary - and terribly elegant."

It's a beautiful book.