"Sometimes i think this cycle never ends. We slide from top to bottom and we turn and climb again..." ~death cab for cutie

Classes are over for the semester; I really can't believe it. I think it's gone by especially quickly for me because I was abroad last semester. It doesn't feel like my junior year should be over. I'm looking forward to going home, though. I'm ready to get finals over with; I hate finals. I have one take-home that I finished, and I had two in-class exams today. They were awful and long and frustrating because I know so much more than I was able to display. Have I mentioned that finals suck? I have one more on Friday that's going to be the worst one. I would love to stay here at Richmond if I didn't have to worry about school, but as it is I am ready to go home for the summer.

I'm managing to fill up my time with non-school related activities, which has been fun but will probably end up screwing me over in the long run. Oh well. Grades aren't everything.

Oh! So I finally know what I'm doing this summer (for real). I'm interning at MTV. I'm excited. I want to try something new, and this will definitely be a unique experience. I start on Monday, May 8th, which is in less than a week.

"And growing up is not the absence of dreaming. Its being able to understand the difference between the ones you can hold and the ones that you've been sold. Dreaming is a good thing 'cause it brings new things to life. But pretending is an ending that perpetuates a lie, forgetting what you are, seeing for what you've been told." ~jewel

That's from a song on Jewel's new album, which I have a copy of, even though it won't be released until two weeks from now (I'm special). I used to be a huge fan of Jewel's (I have most of her albums), but I haven't listened to her in awhile. This new album reminds me why I've always loved her music. She's such a brilliant poet; I love her lyrics. This is a return to classic Jewel and it's wonderful. So everyone check out her new album "Goodbye Alice in Wonderland."

I have swimmer's ear. What else is new? It's a common occurence for me. But it still sucks. I remember when I got it last year and went to the Health Center. The doctor cracked me up (not purposely). This speech of hers was so funny because she delivered it in the voice of a kindergarten teacher. So picture a doctor saying this to me as if I were 5 years old: "One of the reason you get swimmer's ear is that your ears just make more wax than other peoples'. It's not your fault; it's just the way your body is. It's okay that you happen to have lots of ear wax that traps water and dirt in your ears." It was if she was trying to convince me that I shouldn't blame myself for getting swimmer's ear. Because I was sooo concerned about that. Anyway, thankfully, this year I saw a different doctor and she saved me that whole spiel.

One more week of classes, a week of finals, and then I'm finished with my junior year!

"Hiding me I flee, desire's dividing me. He's a bandit and a heartbreaker, Oh but Jesus was a crossmaker, Yeah but Jesus was a crossmaker." ~the hollies

That song is on the Elizabethtown soundtrack, which is really good. You probably know I'm obsessed with Cameron Crowe, and I greatly admire his taste in music as well as his filmmaking skills. His wife, Nancy Wilson, is an absolute musical genius.

Easter has always been my favorite holiday. We would always have tons of relatives over to our house to celebrate. 30+ family members would fill our house and yard (if it was warm). Beforehand my mom, brother, and I would make an Easter-themed pinata. Different years we did a chick, a bunny, an Easter egg, and I can't remember what else. They were good pinatas and looked professional; we really got into it. We focused on all the little details; cutting and folding the tissue paper to get those tiny, puffy rolls making up the ruffles took an especially long time. I wish I had a picture of one so I could post it. We would fill plastic Easter eggs with candy and all the kids would have an Easter egg hunt. Then the other older girls and I would lock ourselves in my room, away from the little kids, and trade candy. I miss those family Easter celebrations.

Since my workload is dying down, I actually got to spend time doing some leisure reading yesterday. I read Jennifer Egan's "Look at Me" (all 420 pages) in a day. It was lovely. I did nothing but read. After church and brunch this morning I went back to the library and got a new book to read. It's Karen Joy Fowler's "Sister Noon." She's a good writer, so I'm looking forward to reading this novel. I love being able to read whatever I want.

I hope everyone has a happy Easter! Christ is risen.

"Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth, mid sweet talk newspaper word cut-outs. Speak no feeling, no I don't believe you, you don't care a bit, you don't care a bit." ~imogen heap

Go listen to that song if you haven't heard it. It's so original and moving and simply fantastic. I'm still trying to figure out what it means and I've listened to it way too many times to count. But that's part of what I love about it.

I turned in my two big English papers this week and it's such a relief to have them off my hands. Those are my last two essays due this semester. I have a few education projects left, but those are actually fun, so the last two weeks of classes won't be bad at all. I can't believe this semester is almost over; it really flew by.

I wrote a long paragraph full of angst here but I deleted it because y'all don't need to read that. Actually, I'm not exactly sure who "y'all" is because I don't know who reads this. There are some people in the world to whom I would not choose to reveal my deep, inner feelings, and it is possible (though not likely) that some of them will read this entry. So that means I have to censor myself.

I was about to write a juicy paragraph here, but I don't think I can write that, either. Sorry, folks. You're stuck with my boring rambling.

Today I was walking up the steps to D-Hall and I fell. Of course a hot guy was right behind me. In fact, he was so close behind me that he almost tripped over me after I fell. I didn't hurt myself or anything, which was good, but my ego suffered quite a bruising.

My friend Allison is the best person to watch movies with. She laughs at everything, and laughter is contagious, so I seriously think she makes movies ten times more enjoyable. Allison, if you happen to read this, be proud.

I love Elise. She's absolutely hilarious.

That's all for now.

"He asked us what our favorite work of art was, But never could I tell him it was him" ~rufus wainwright

I looove that song.

I was going to open with a Rascal Flatts quote because I've been listening to them this week, but I couldn't think of a good one. Their new album just came out and it's not bad. Yep, that's right, I listen to Rascal Flatts. Go ahead, point and laugh. It's not like they're one of my favorite bands, though; I don't think I would put them in my top 20. But every once in a while, when I'm in the right mood, I like 'em. Anyway, like I said, I didn't quote them in this entry because I can't think of any of their lyrics that I love. They've got great voices, great harmonies, and a few catchy tunes (along with a bunch of generic ones), but their lyrics are seriously lacking. There are definitely some *headdesk* moments in their new album.

I haven't posted in awhile because I've been going insane lately. I have my huge English 400 research paper due on Thursday, and I have a paper for my other English class due tomorrow (that's worth 33% of my grade). I've written about 10 pages of my research paper and it's not nearly finished. It's such a mess. I can't wait until Thursday is over and I have these two things off my hands.

Let's see...what's been going on since I wrote last? Oh, this weekend my friend Chris's girlfriend stayed with me, which I really enjoyed. I love having a single, but I often miss having a roommate. So I got to have a temporary roommate for a couple of days, and she was really nice.

Today I sat outside and did work in the sun. It was such a beautiful day. I think my freckles are starting to appear now. I love freckles. To me they mean summer. And I love summer.

That's all for now.

"From way up on your cloud, where you've been hiding out, are you getting somewhere? Or did you get lost in Amsterdam?" ~guster

My dad is being considered for a big promotion that would send him to Amsterdam for at least 3 years. He wants to know what I think, and I’m not sure what to say. I go to school here in the U.S. for most of the year, I’ll be working in the U.S. this summer, and after I graduate next year I’ll live in NYC. Basically I’m very tied to the U.S. So the main consequence for me of my dad taking that new job would be not seeing my parents as much. I guess I’d go to Amsterdam for breaks and holidays, but I wouldn’t really be living there. I think I’d miss my parents a lot. I think I take them for granted. I take it for granted that I can easily go home to them any time I want. We’d probably sell our house here in the U.S., which is hard for me to grasp. I know this is such a superficial concern, but what would I do with all my stuff? (I have lots of stuff). But my parents would probably be happy in Amsterdam. It would mean lots of traveling for my dad, to the States, Europe, and Asia. My mom could easily travel with him because both their kids won’t be living with them and she doesn’t work. My parents are big travelers. For the first three years of my life I lived with them in Cote D’Ivoire (aka the Ivory Coast, in west Africa). They met while they were in the Peace Corps in Cameroon. We go on tons of crazy vacations all over the world (the last one was Turkey). So they love adventure. This new job is only a possibility right now; there are two other people being considered for it and my dad wouldn’t have to accept it even if it were offered to him. But I can’t help thinking about it. I guess it would be an interesting change. I’ll be praying for an outcome that will make everyone happy.

I've been working on my research paper for my English seminar (the Negro as an Invisible Man) all day and have basically accomplished nothing. I hate that. Where does the time go?

"With your feet in the air and your head on the ground, try this trick and spin it, yeah. Your head will collapse, but there's nothing in it, and you'll ask yourself: "Where is my mind? Where is my mind? Where is my mind?" ~the pixies

James Blunt does a pretty good cover of that song. It's not as good as The Pixies' version, but it's not bad. When I saw the track list for The Bedlam Sessions, I saw that song title and figured it was a new song that just happened to have the same title as a Pixies song, so I was really surprised when I listened to it and discovered it was the same song. James Blunt has good taste in music.

The weather is absolutely beautiful here (in the 80s), which makes it difficult to stay inside and do work. I think if it's nice tomorrow I'll take my laptop outside and write. I have two big English papers to do (among other things). Today I went to CVS and got sunscreen and sunglasses, because I forgot to bring them to school with me. So now I'm prepared for the sun!

I watched my Walk the Line dvd yesterday. I love that movie. Go watch it if you haven't yet.